I’m Sad And Confused Because My Wife Won’t Have Sex With Me Anymore

Ian's wife just had their second baby and informed him that she has no intention of having sex with him anymore. He doesn't know what to do because they still love each other and have two kids, but she is no longer sexually attracted to him. Should he stay married to her and just give up sex? Should they explore opening up the relationship? Or is it time for Ian to consider leaving if his wife really won't have sex with him anymore?

Ayla: Good morning Ian. I’m very interested to hear what's going on with you and your wife and your relationship. Talk to me and then maybe we can help you out.

Ian: Oh, good morning. I really need the help because I am in a pickle and there really is no pun intended here. Okay, so my wife, we've been married for over two decades here. We're on our second child, and my wife just drops this bombshell on me, saying that she loves me very much.

Ayla: Oh…. Ok

Ian:  I'm getting very emotional thinking about it now, but she says that she is not sexually attracted to me any longer and she wants to stay with me. We're going to have our child, but she refuses to sleep with me any longer, and I can't change the way anybody feels, but I just don't know what to do. I am a man. I have needs, as we all do, as people.

Ayla: And what she means, let me just clarify, is to not have sexual intercourse anymore for the rest of her life, like ever.

Ian: Oh, I don't think she's saying that.

Ayla: I would like to know.

Ian: Well, she told me for sure is that she doesn't want to have sex with me.

Ayla:  That’s even more sad. Ian, I'm sorry. You sound like a really nice guy. And I'm sure you're wondering what the heck can I do about the situation that way?

Ian: That's right. I just racked my brain. Should I buy new lingerie or the new toy or something or do the new dance? Whatever the new trend is.

Ayla: Whatever the new thing is. Ian is wondering if he should try that. Or I guess another question that was on your mind based on your message is, Ian, do you have the option to also have sex with other people?

Ian: You know that's true.

Ayla: That is true because you, as you said before, are a man. If your spouse came to you and said, I'm not sexually attracted to you anymore, I don't want to have sex, I have everything I need. You've given me two beautiful children, but the sex I'm not into. How would that make you feel?

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Our husbands and partners all do things we find sexy, but some truths are universal - some things we all find sexy. While the internet is fixated on the start of grey sweatpants season, the list is much longer than that. From doing the laundry to washing the car, there are many chances for our man to show off just how sexy he can be. (Guys, take notes!)

Today I break down the top 12 sexiest things our partners can do with some helpful articles just in case they have any questions!

https://www.mass.gov/info-details/how-where-to-recycle

This goes without saying.

https://www.cleaninginstitute.org/cleaning-tips/dishes/dishwashing-made-easy

Splish, splash, time to give the dishes a bath.

https://www.maytag.com/blog/washers-and-dryers/how-to-fold-clothes.html#:~:text=Create%20a%20designated%20folding%20space,smoothing%20out%20bumps%20and%20wrinkles.

Does your man think it can't get sexier than washing the laundry? Well, let him know about folding it too.

https://www.remodelaholic.com/8-tips-finally-finishing-diy-projects/

Is your DIY project older than your dog? Can you celebrate its birthday? Is your husband guilty of always needing a few more days to finish that project started 4-12 years ago? Let him know that this may just be one of the sexiest things he can do.

https://www.blog.laundrycare.biz/post/101-laundry-tips-tricks-and-hacks

This is a great place to start, but the fun has just begun. If he completes this one (#4) and #5, he can appear sexy for hours.

https://agirlsguidetocars.com/car-cleaning-tips/

Are your Dunkin' bags accumulating? Is your car covered in dirt from parking in all those dirt lots besides the youth soccer league's field? With the warm weather next week, the time has never been better than now to clean your car. Break out that lawn chair and enjoy watching your man make your car shine.

None of us asked for two episodes a week of Bachelor in Paradise, yet here we are. If you can make it through two nights a week of Paradise, so can he.

https://www.realsimple.com/home-organizing/cleaning/cleaning-bathroom/how-clean-bathroom

You love his beard but hate his mess.

https://www.smalleyinstitute.com/blog/why-she-s-always-right

Have you ever been wrong? I didn't think so.

https://www.wikihow.life/Make-Your-Bed

You can't mess up the bed if it hasn't been made...

https://mom.com/baby/12-tips-for-when-dad-feeds-a-newborn

This one is a personal favorite. Hearing the words "I'll feed the baby this time" is unbeatable.

https://frugalfamilyhome.com/home/homemaking/how-to-cook-dinner-every-night-for-your-family-10-tips-to-get-it-done

You know how to make his favorite recipe, its about time he learns how to make yours!