My Buddy’s “Breastfeeding” His Son: Am I the Only Guy Who Thinks This is Totally Weird?
Navigating the world of parenthood often involves unique and creative solutions, but some ideas can push the boundaries of what we consider “normal.” In today’s blog, we’re diving into a peculiar parenting hack that’s left one dad scratching his head—and possibly questioning his sanity. When a close friend of his devised an unconventional method to bond with his baby, it sparked a debate that led to some serious (and hilarious) discussions. Let’s explore this bizarre baby-feeding contraption and what it says about the lengths we go to connect with our little ones.
Jonathan:
Jonathan and Ayla doing Panic Button, and today we have Alan. Hey, Alan.
Alan:
Hey, how you guys doing?
Jonathan:
We’re doing well. So, Alan’s got a bit of a problem with his friend and the way he feeds his baby. Alan, what’s going on that made you call us about this?
Alan:
Yeah, so my friend and I have gotten into a bit of a rift over something I think is absolutely crazy. I’m a dad, as is he, but he’s a new father. To help out with his baby, he’s come up with this contraption that’s, well, insane.
Ayla:
Get to it! I’m on the edge of my seat.
Alan:
So, he’s created this thing—a sort of tank top, like a beater, where he’s cut out holes where his nipples would be.
Jonathan:
OK…
Alan:
And he’s put bottles of milk into the holes, so he’s now become like Mr. Mom.
Jonathan:
So that’s how he feeds his kid?
Alan:
Yeah, I don’t quite get it.
Jonathan:
Is it because the baby doesn’t accept a bottle unless it’s in that position?
Alan:
Oh, no. When I was over there, I fed the baby with a regular bottle just fine. It’s not like mom isn’t around either; she works, but she’s there. He just does this because he says it makes him feel closer to his child.
Jonathan:
By the way, I’m looking on Amazon right now, and there’s something called the “Mr. Milker,” which is a vest that lets you put bottles into it. So, did he make this himself?
Alan:
No, he made his own, and yeah, I’m weirded out by it.
Ayla:
What does your wife think about this?
Alan:
Are you kidding? She thinks it’s the sweetest thing in the world. I couldn’t believe her response. That’s why I wanted to call you guys because I feel like I’m taking crazy pills here. I’m like Will Ferrell in Zoolander—I’m the only one who sees how weird this is!
Jonathan:
Right.
Alan:
I even talked to one of my other buddies about it, and he was like, “So what?”
Ayla:
Yeah, I think it’s kind of weird too. I can’t picture my husband doing that unless the baby truly wouldn’t take a bottle any other way. But if the baby takes bottles normally, why imitate breastfeeding? There are other ways to feel close to your child without doing that.
Jonathan:
Do you think it’s weird to imitate breastfeeding like that?
Ayla:
Yeah, it’s unnecessary. Breastfeeding is an intimate moment between a mother and her baby.
Jonathan:
So you’re offended on behalf of women? Like, how dare he try to get closer to the baby in this way? All right, let’s get calls on this. 888-819-1125. Call or text 888-819-1125. Alan’s problem is that his friend is using a weird T-shirt contraption to feed his baby, where he cut holes where the nipples would be and put bottles through them to kind of breastfeed the kid with a bottle. Alan’s weirded out by it; Ayla’s weirded out
