Sleeping Separately Is A Sign Of A Good Marriage, If You Can Afford It
As a morning show host, I know how annoying it can be to go to sleep at a different time than my wife. As I am trying to drift off to sleep at the Godless hour of 8pm so I can wake up at the even more Godless hour of 3am she is still putting our son to bed. As hard as she tries when she comes in the room sometimes she can’t help but wake me up. We have talked about sleeping in different rooms, but there’s one significant problem with that.
A Taboo Subject
It’s a taboo subject. Some people think it’s a sign of a bad marriage. My wife and I don’t have that problem. Mostly we don’t give a crap what anyone thinks about our marriage as we age. The real problem is who can afford it?
Michael Solender’s Story: Love and Sleep Apnea
Michael Solender and his wife, married for 42 years. For the first 10 years, they slept together. Eventually, they had to move to separate rooms. That separation was not due to a lack of love, but because Michael began intense, chronic snoring, which became dangerous to his health. He was diagnosed with sleep apnea and now sleeps with a CPAP machine. Even then, they still slept apart since at night their body temperatures were different; he’s usually warm while she’s usually cold.
Common Reasons for Separate Beds
It’s not just snoring and temperature fluctuations that send couples to sleep in separate beds. Other common culprits include blanket stealers and restless sleepers. Other causes are illness, working different hours, and one partner heading to bed while the other is just waking up. Specialists have recognized some advantages to the plan, even saying it can be good for relationships.
A Third of Americans Sleep Separately
Last year, the American Academy of Sleep Medicine conducted a study on Americans and found that over a third are forced to either periodically or regularly sleep in another room to adapt to their partner in bed. Men tend to be the ones who move to the sofa or guest room. Which seems uncomfortable and is probably why it’s mostly Millenials who choose that option.
Dr. Seema Khosla on Healthy Sleep and Relationships
Dr. Seema Khosla, the academy’s representative and pulmonologist, mentions the importance of getting sufficient sleep, which for adults is typically seven to eight hours. She reveals that relationships flourish better with healthy sleep. It was found that those who relentlessly experience erratic sleep usually have happier and less confrontational marriages. Dr. Khosla, the medical director for the North Dakota Center for Sleep in Fargo, added that better sleep can lead to less friction in relationships.
Affordability: The Real Barrier
But let’s turn back to the issue of affordability. In a world where the price of real estate is ever increasing, fewer people are able to afford the luxury of an extra room just for a good night’s sleep. And, while some partnerships would be happier than others with separate beds, this is a luxury many cannot afford.
Expert Tips for Transitioning to Separate Sleeping Arrangements
For those considering such an arrangement, experts offer a few suggestions to make the transition easier and ensure good sleep for both of you. But remember, in the end, the goal is to find a sleep arrangement that works best for both of you, whether that is sharing one bed or each enjoying the peace of your own space.
