5 Dumb Things My Male Co-Worker Texted Me During The Iowa vs. LSU Women’s Basketball Game

My co-worker, Jonathan Wier, is not a women's basketball connoisseur. In fact, I don't think he's ever picked up a basketball in his entire life.  He'll try and convince you that he "played in middle school," but where are the stats or the photos? Hint: they don't exist.

I on the other hand played basketball my entire life from the time I was in 2nd grade. Here's a warning to all of the readers out there - I am about to humbly brag a little bit about my basketball career. Scroll through if it doesn't interest you. Honestly, it feels like such a distant past memory that it's hard for me to even imagine I had that much talent on the court.

What I am saying is that basketball was life for me. I trained every single day to be the best player I could be and would break into gyms with my dad just to get reps in. Playing against the boys was extremely common for me, and working on my non-dominant hand was essential to me getting to the next level.

I couldn't help but laugh when Jonathan started texting me during the highly-anticipated Iowa vs LSU women's basketball game on Monday night. I was sitting on my couch when all of a sudden he texted me, "Why do they all have long hair?" Wait, WHAT? Why do the women's basketball players have long hair? That was just the beginning. The questions got weirder. Here are the 5 strange texts I got from my co-worker during the game.

My Response: Women's basketball players have long hair because they WANT to have long hair! They are women. Many women prefer to have longer hair because they like the way they look with longer hair. Also, on the court is can be an advantage to have long hair because they can whip it around and confuse their opponents. Imagine getting hit in the face with a braid. Not fun.

My Response: Women look badass in pant suits. Should I stop there? Ok, I'll keep going. Many female coaches are bending down a lot and squatting during the game to get a better assessment of the court. Many of them also have endorsement deals with clothing companies who create one-of-a-kind suits for game day. These become iconic pieces for the coaches. And about the high heels thing.... many of these women are tall, and are around other tall women. So the coaches LOVE wearing high heels during games.

My Response: This one is a little crazy to me. Back when I played basketball NO ONE wore one pant leg on and one off. But if you watch women's basketball in 2024, it seems to be a "look." So ladies are either doing it because it looks cool, or they've more likely had a previous leg or knee injury and they need to keep their leg warm during the game. Either way, Jonathan thinks the look is "sexy."

My Response: I HAVE NO IDEA HOW THEY SHOOT WITH FAKE NAILS! I am not even kidding. A former teammate of mine would always go to the nail salon and get acrylics put on. She would always scratch us during practice and it hurt! So I have no answer for this.

My Response: These women have had these boobs for a while (thanks puberty). So the shot that they bring to college is the shot that they will have for the rest of their careers. If they had large breasts, guess what? They've probably adjusted to life with big boobs.