Jackson Blue

Jackson Blue

“Don’t get thrown in jail for eating a sandwich at a wake” is a golden piece of advice you never knew you needed, but you do if you live in Massachusetts. I’ve always been kind of obsessed with strange state laws – many of them have been around for ages. I’m guessing it’s a hassle to go through the process of repealing the laws so instead they just remain, hopefully mostly unenforced, just hanging out.

Did you know that in Alabama it’s illegal to drive blindfolded? (OK I hope that one is enforced!!) In Kentucky it’s illegal to marry the same man more than 3 times. In Texas it’s illegal to sell a human eye. In Arizona it’s illegal for a donkey to sleep in a bathtub. Remember if you’re ever in Arkansas you can’t honk your horn near a sandwich shop after 9 pm. In Indiana it’s illegal to ride a horse faster than 10 miles an hour. In Connecticut a pickle must be able to bounce (but who’s really going to want to eat that dirty bounced pickle?) In Hawaii it’s illegal to place a coin in someone’s ear. In Oregon it’s illegal to go hunting in a. cemetery (sorry ghost hunters!). And in Delaware don’t even attempt to sell dog fur – that’s illegal there.

Massachusetts has it’s own fair share of bizarre state laws too. So let’s dive in! I’ll give you eight bizarre laws you can actually get into trouble for breaking in the Bay State. I’ll throw in a bizarre law that still stands in every New England state as well to spread the fun around a little bit.

One law that isn’t bizarre but is fairly unique to Massachusetts is that Happy Hours are illegal here. We’re one of 9 states in the US to ban Happy Hours. Find out what other states have banned Happy Hours and why RIGHT HERE!

And now, on with the odd Mass laws:

  • "Hands off that sammich!!"

    LAW: You can’t eat more than 3 sandwiches when attending a wake in Massachusetts.

    There may be light appetizers served but go easy, this ain’t Costco’s.

  • More cream, less fruit.

    LAW: It’s illegal to make clam chowder with tomatoes in Massachusetts.

    Duh. That’s nasty. Sorry Manhattan.

  • Governor: "Hard pass, every time."

    LAW: Duels to the death are permitted on the common on Sundays provided that the Governor is present.

    Uhhhhhh… what?!?? Can’t we just settle this with a game of chess or something?

  • Got Body Ink? Rut roh.

    LAW: Tattooing and body piercing is illegal.

    Thankfully this one was repealed in the year 2000. Good thing or those prisons would be hella overcrowded right about now.

  • Gorillas in the front, party in the back!

    LAW: No gorilla is allowed in the back seat of any car. 

    Obviously gorillas must be the annoying backseat drivers of the animal world.

  • Sorry "Stone Cold!"

    LAW: Goatees are illegal unless you first pay a special license fee for the privilege of wearing one in public.

    I’d gladly pay a small license fee to cover that middle age under-chin hump.

  • Zzzzzzzz....

    LAW: Snoring is prohibited unless all bedroom windows are closed and securely locked.

    Don’t you wish your snorefest neighbor knew this?!!

  • It's a hospital not a night club.

    LAW: It is illegal to give beer to hospital patients.

    That’s not your belly that’s a keg.

  • In MAINE it's illegal...

    … to park in front of Dunkin’ Donuts.

  • In RHODE ISLAND it's illegal...

    … to race a horse on a highway.

  • In VERMONT it's illegal...

    … for women to wear fake teeth without their husband’s approval.

  • In CONNECTICUT it's illegal...

    … for two people who are married to kiss in public on a Sunday

  • In NEW HAMPSHIRE it's illegal...

    … to pick up seaweed off the beach.

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