Jackson Blue

Weekdays 2pm-7pm

And yes, a ‘futurologist’ is a real thing!

Dr. James Bellini is a futurologist who dubs himself a “historian of the future.” He just released a series of predictions about where we’ll be in the year 2050, which if you think about it really isn’t that far away. Here are some surprising predictions from Dr. Future that you might find interesting. Actually you will find them interesting, he already saw it in the future yesterday.

  • You'll be eating bugs for din-din

    Bellini says the idea of insects for dinner will be mainstream in 2050. I’m cool with it. I could actually go for a beetle burrito right now. Mmmm… you know you’re craving a spider smoothie too.

    ants

    In the future I’ll use leaves like this one to attract a handful of ants then eat them like Raisinettes.

  • Your fridge will stock itself

    Using drones the Dr. says. DRONES!! I don’t want weird little drones sneaking through my windows to put stuff in my fridge! And they better buy the bargain brands or I’ll sick the cats on them!

  • Our clothes will be cleaned by sound

    No more water in our washers! Dr. Bellini says in 2050 our clothes will be cleaned by ultrasonic waves – high-frequency sound waves transmitted through liquid to scrub your clothes clean. We can try to do that now. Just tell me when you’re going to put your clothes on your radio speaker and I’ll try to make noises with my mouth to clean them. I’m sure it’ll work – watch those grass stains and cigarette smells disappear.

    detergent

    Bye bye bye detergent!! Ok tell the truth you sang that didn’t you? You’re N’Sync.

  • Your dishwasher will be waterless too and cleaned by... plastic balls?

    Dr. Bellini may have sipped on a couple too many bellinis before predicting this one. He says our dishwashers will be water-free too which is cool. But he says our dishes will be cleaned by tiny plastic beads which will be shot all over our dirty dishes in the dishwasher. The washer will use these high-tech beads to pulverize dirt. Hopefully they’ll also chip off that microwaved-on cheese. Ew.

  • Gardens will stretch upward not sideways

    Gardening and farming will stretch plants upwards toward the sky instead of spreading along the ground according to our fearless futurologist. I’m getting visions of the Topsy-Turvy in my head. I don’t know about you but I never reaped any success from the ol’ Topsy-Turvy so I’m skeptical (though by this point on this list that’s not really a surprise).

  • All New England teams will win all of the championships

    Congratulations New England!! I just added this one myself without Dr. Bellini’s help but congratulations just the same. The 2050’s are gonna RULE! And we’ll celebrate all of those championships with a nice handful of ants (which if you were paying attention I attracted with that leaf, you’re welcome).

    ants

    In the future I’ll use leaves like this one to attract a handful of ants then eat them like Raisinettes.