My name is Jackson Blue. I’m currently a mild-mannered radio DJ but very soon I will be a mind-mannered BILLIONAIRE radio DJ.
How will this change me? Oh in so many ways. I’ll start wearing too much cologne. I’ll constantly steer conversations to be about me and my expensive ventures. I’ll order the most expensive thing on the menu even though it repulses me then when nobody’s looking I’ll shove a small McDonalds french fry in my mouth. Did I mention that I’ll wear too much cologne? Because I will.
In preparation of becoming a billionaire I feel like I’ll need to hire a whole gaggle of assistants: assistants to hold my straw while I drink like I’m Mariah Carey back in the day, assistants to tell me how I look since I’ll be too rich to waste my time on mirrors, assistants to spritz me with cologne, you get the picture. Keep watching this space as I’ll soon have an application for potential assistants. After I hire my first assistant I’ll have them take care of that.
In the meantime please enjoy this list of things I plan on buying when I become a billionaire shortly: