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I Just Found Out My Parents Have Been Using The Money I Send Them To Fund My Deadbeat Brother Partying

By Jim Clerkin
Happy african american man throwing out money banknotes, yellow studio background

James has been giving his parents a few thousand dollars a month because he has done well at his job and he wants to help them with their bills. He recently found out that they have been giving half of that money to his deadbeat brother, who wastes it on partying and doesn’t have a job. So he threatened to cut them off. But James’s parents feel like its their money and if they want to help their other son, that’s their prerogative.

Jonathan: For panic button we have James, who hates his parents. Hey, James.

James: No, please don’t say that.

Jonathan: I’m sorry. It just seems like you hate them. So what’s going on, James?

James: First off, I love my parents. They’re great people. But the thing is, they don’t make the greatest financial decisions. I mean, I’ve got a great job. And one of the reasons I’m doing so well is I learned from watching them make mistakes with credit cards, loans, and just making bad business decisions throughout the years.

Ayla: I gotcha. Yeah.

James: Okay, so here’s the problem. I love them, I’ll do anything for them. And I’ve been helping them every month to try to get back on their feet, try to get them financially stable. I’ve been giving them about $2,000 a month.

Ayla: Wow. Wow. That is so generous of you. Son of the year award.

James: Thank you. But I love them. I mean, without them, I wouldn’t be here. So. Sure. Here’s the problem. I found out that the $2,000 I’m giving them, they’re giving half of that to my deadbeat brother who barely works, who doesn’t do much. He just goes from job to job. Being a waiter that doesn’t last very long. And I’m going to be honest, he’s had substance abuse problems.

Ayla: Okay.

James: I see him on social media just living it up.

Jonathan: With your money.

Ayla: Yeah, it’s your money. Did you just find out it was because of your money?

James: Yes. I just found out. My parents told me that. And I’m like, okay, if I can work hard and I can make a good living, he can do the same thing.

Jonathan: Yeah.

Ayla: But he wants to do it on your dime. Why would he want to get a job now? He’s used to this lifestyle.

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  • So What Is James Going To Do About It?

    Jonathan: So what are you doing? Are you cutting them off?

    James: Yes, I am cutting them off. I love my parents, but I’m not supporting them and my brother. I mean, that’s just too much.

    Jonathan: And you’re calling us to try to make yourself feel better about that?

    Ayla: Well, what are your parents like? Have you actually told them that you’re cutting them off? Oh, bless their hearts. What did they say?

    James: Not a fight, but we had a disagreement. I told them, I can’t support you and my brother. That’s not fair to me. And they said, well, we considered that money to be a gift so we can do whatever we want with it. I don’t understand why you’re going to tell us what we need to do with it.

    Ayla: Oh.

    James: I love them, but I’m not going to support my deadbeat brother. He needs to get off his ass and do something.

    Jonathan: All right.

    Ayla: Oh, I would totally cut my parents off. Yes.

    Jonathan: Oh my God, yes.

    Ayla: Or I would just give them half the money. If half of it’s going to him, they don’t need it.

    Jonathan: Even if you’re going to give $500 to the brother, then they’re still going to pay. God forbid parents actually care about their children enough to help them out.

    Ayla: So you think even if they still get less money, they’re going to still give it to his brother no matter what, right?

    Jonathan: I don’t have a problem with James cutting his parents off, if that’s what he wants to do with his money. But once he gives it to them, it’s their money. I think it’s wrong to tell people what to do with the cash you give them.

    Ayla: You wouldn’t tell them what to do.

    Jonathan: If you get cash from somebody for Christmas, they then don’t have the right to go. Hey. But you can only spend it on sweaters.

    Ayla: But if I want to buy you a sweater.

    Jonathan: But I’m too late.

    Ayla: Let’s just say they did give me cash for Christmas, and they said, hey, this is to help pay your bills. And then I used it to buy sweaters. That’s fine. That would be a problem?

    Jonathan: That would not be a problem. That’s their fault. They gave you the money.

    Ayla: Yeah, but then they could just be like, we’re not giving you the money anymore because you clearly didn’t use it for the bills.

    Jonathan: What do you think James’s problem is? That he’s been giving his parents $2,000 a month. They’ve been turning around and giving a thousand of it to his deadbeat brother, who he also says has substance abuse issues and has been living it up. He sees him all the time on social media. Is James right to tell them what they can do with the money that he’s giving them? I don’t think so. Ayla does. James, thank you so much.

    James: Thank you guys.

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