Caroline wrote in to let us know about her Mom Chat Group. One of the women in the group went back to work and her husband took over at home. Now he's in the chat group and Caroline doesn't like it at all.

Dear Jonathan and Ayla

I’m a mom and part of a “mom chat group” for the school that my ten year old twins go to. There are seven moms in the class and we all trade recipes and mom hacks and vent about our relationships, jobs, kids etc. I consider it a lifeline because when I was younger I struggled a bit with parenting and these women have really helped me come into my own as a mom.

Recently one of the moms in the group got a job offer she couldn’t refuse and went back to work full time. Her husband drives for Uber and changed his hours so he could take over the primary parenting responsibility for their daughter. I really respect him for supporting his wife like that. But here’s the problem. He’s been added to the mom chat in her place. And now I just don’t feel comfortable the way I did before.

I mentioned this to a few of the other moms and one kind of agreed with me but the others think I’m being silly. They say parenting is parenting and Nick, the dad, probably needs more help than any of us since he’s new to being the school parent.

But the vibe of the chat has definitely changed. Nick makes a lot of dad jokes in the chat and says things sometimes that I don’t think he understands could be rude. We used to talk about sensitive stuff on this chat that I wouldn’t say in front of my own husband so I definitely wouldn’t want to say them in front of someone else’s. I just feel like my comfort level isn’t where it needs to be anymore.

I’m considering telling the group that either Nick is out or I am. But I’m afraid if they call my bluff I’ll be on my own again. I just don’t know what to do.

Any advice would be great

Caroline

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