Anyone who has lived in Massachusetts knows that it’s not exactly the easiest state to live in. And honestly most of us like it that way. The streets? A mess. The people? Sometimes can be jerks. Everything? EXPENSIVE. But just like playing a video game on easy mode isn’t satisfying. Just like Tom Brady always wanted to play against the toughest defenses. Just like beating your 5 year old at Uno is only fun until they start crying. The easy way is for cowards and people from Vermont. Here’s a question: Would you want to retire in massachusetts?
It’s shocking that this list of best states to retire to had Massachusetts ranked so high. Maybe it’s taking into account the sidewalks? Maybe it’s taking into account the health care? Perhaps it’s written by dudes named Murph and Sully in The Dot? Maybe we complain about the price of everything here but it’s actually afforda…hahahaha I couldn’t finish that sentence.
Well it turns out that yeah The Bay State ranked pretty high in two categories. Quality of life and health care. The health care should come as no surprise. Doctors walls are covered in Harvard and Tufts diplomas. But “Quality of life”? What does that mean?
Well the study doesn’t exactly go into detail on that. But if quality of life involved seafood, great sports teams, education and amount of dudes refusing to wear anything but shorts no matter how cold it is, Massachusetts has that going for us. If it means a low crime rate, access to lots of entertainment and beautiful summers I guess we have that as well.
Here are the states that ranked even higher than Massachusetts according to the study.
1. Florida
Florida ranked 4th in most affordable, first in quality of life and 29th in health care. Having lived in Florida that makes sense. Your life will be affordable, fun and short.
2. Colorado
Colorado is 2nd due to the law of averages. It’s 14th most affordable. 27th in quality of life and 3rd in health care. So your life will be kind of affordable, not very fun and LONG. Plus you’ll be surrounded by delusional Broncos fans.
(Photo by Jamie Schwaberow/Getty Images)
3. Virginia
Virginia ranks high because it’s 11th most affordable, 13th in quality of life and 11th in health care. All good scores but tell me something you know about Virginia. Like name ONE famous person from there that didn’t have wooden teeth and wig. You can’t.
Dave Grohl is from Virginia? I assumed he was a thrift store in Seattle.
4. Delaware
Ranks high because it’s affordable (3rd) but quality of life and health care are mid at best (34th, 23rd). So life will be cheap depressing and short. All things that would go in my tinder profile. Am I the Delaware of people?
