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STUDY: Massachusetts Is One of the 10 Worst States To Be In If a Zombie Apocalypse Actually Happens

By Beasley Media Editorial

We don’t think this actually has a chance of happening, do we? I’ve always thought it was a fun topic to talk about – what 3 stars would you have on your Zombie Apocalypse fighting squad? You know – stuff like that. But when I see people doing actual studies (that take time and funds to put together) ranking which states would fare best to worst if an actual zombie apocalypse breaks out, things start getting a little weird.

A zombie apocalypse isn’t happening! And if it does Bigfoot and the aliens will save us, no worries.

Rant Casino commissioned the study which looked to “replicate a hypothetical zombie apocalypse in which the deceased are resurrected as the living dead. The research evaluates both the nominal and relative concentrations of zombies in administrative subdivisions of the United States. Estimates for this study are based on a sample of 369,240 globally geolocated cemeteries and over 200 million registered graves acquired from an established public database of cemetery records, Find a Grave (owned by Ancestry.com).”

And here are your Top 10 Most Unfortunate Places To Live During a Zombie Apocalypse:

  • #1 - THE Worst State To Live During a Zombie Apocalypse

    New York
    # of zombies roaming the streets: 12,691,919
    You will go down faster than a street pretzel.

  • #2 Worst State To Live During a Zombie Apocalypse

    Pennsylvania

    # of zombies roaming the streets: 12,505,514

    Like a cheese steak (or as we call it a steak and cheese) down the undead’s gullet.

  • #3 Worst State To Live During a Zombie Apocalypse

    Ohio

    # of zombies roaming the streets: 10,361,999

    Cleveland Rocks. Zombies don’t care.

  • #4 Worst State To Live During a Zombie Apocalypse

    California

    # of zombies roaming the streets: 8,732,358

    They’ll be eating lots of plastic in LA.

  • #5 Worst State To Live During a Zombie Apocalypse

    Texas

    # of zombies roaming the streets: 8,624,922

    No time for BBQ, zombies order tartar.

  • #6 Worst State To Live During a Zombie Apocalypse

    Illinois

    # of zombies roaming the streets: 8,235,259

    Zombies want you, on a poppy seed bun, with mustard, bright green relish, some other stuff, and celery salt.

  • #7 Worst State To Live During a Zombie Apocalypse

    Indiana

    # of zombies roaming the streets: 5,979,766

    Zombies be like “Hoosier daddy so I can nom nom him too?”

  • #8 Worst State To Live During a Zombie Apocalypse

    Missouri

    # of zombies roaming the streets: 5,970,345

    The zombies want you to feel Missouri. Lots and lots of Missouri. (Say it out loud, I know it’s a stretch.)

  • #9 Worst State To Live During a Zombie Apocalypse

    Michigan

    # of zombies roaming the streets: 5,865,097

    So many cars and boats – zombies on the fly!

  • #10 Worst State To Live During a Zombie Apocalypse

    Massachusetts

    # of zombies roaming the streets: 4,407,515

    Masshole zombies? Maybe it’d be a double negative and our zombies would actually be lovely!

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