Carolyn Kruse

Carolyn Kruse

Spoiler alert: If you are saving last night’s episode of The Bachlorette for future viewing. Beware dark secrets may be given away here. (Not really, but definitely some funny and cringe-worthy moments may be revealed.

Gabby Windey and Rachel Recchia were back to work last night on the popular ABC TV “reality” series, The Bachelorettes. These are the women who were left behind last season, after The Bachelor Clayton Echard told them he loved them both, and left them both for Susie, who had left the show. I’m already exhausted. So, let’s continue with ridiculous recap of the current The Bachelorette.

Gabby and Rachel, now bffs (for now, that could change as they share love interests) are on a quest for love. They both want to find their future husband. ABC decided to double up on Bachelorettes, considering the populartiy of both women, and the fact that they were both left in the dust, in most dramatic way last season. They are here for each other and that is obvious.

Here are a few of the stand out moments from week two of Gabby and Rachel.

  • So Many Men So Little Room

    There are more prospective “husbands” this season, than any other. Last night started with 29. All those men in one house, and apparently not enough beds.

  • The Speedo Pageant

    Yup, it happened right there in my living room. A Bachelor beauty pageant, which in itself is pretty funny. Add a speedo and it’s side splitting hilarity. Not really, but really. Juggling balls wall wearing a speedo, you can’t make this stuff up. There was spaghetti sauce, all over a guy named Meatball. Please, don’t stop.  How about the head stand with split included, and yes, all while in a speedo. The Bachelorettes can’t unsee that. My favorite was Jacob, of the jungle, dressed in an animal print speedo, long hair flowing like a Harlequin novel character, sitting on a chair, backwards, putting on his spectacles and trying to sell a fixed year mortgages to The Bachelorettes.  Really, you have to see it to believe it.

    Props to the best line of the night from a contestant apparently feeling inadequate, “So many dudes who don’t skip leg day.”

  • Brett Young and Ashley Cooke Serenade for One

    Rachel had the first one on one, and chose race car driver, Jordan V. They seemed like a good match, she likes to fly and he likes to drive.

    But while having dinner, she got up and walked out. Awkward. But wait the awkward gets worse. She suddenly wasn’t feelin’ the love for poor Jordan. She decided to send him home, which meant that private concert the producers always stage for a date, and usually starring an up and coming country artist, was going to be played for no one. Or wait, for one. There stood Rachel, watching newcomer Ashley Cooke, and mulit-platinum country star Brett Young in a beautiful yet incredibly awkward duet. Someone, stop the music. Please. They didn’t. We need a good break-up song.


  • The Villan and The Hero

    The astonishingly successful machine that is The Bachelor/The Bachelorette would never survive if not for the villan and the hero. You need these guys. Especially the villan. So cue the music, and bring on Chris! And then send him packing. Only to see him weasel his way back in. But not for long.

    Now, let’s meet the hero. Nate. He was Gabby’s first one-on-one date last night and he did not dissapoint. Of course there was a hot tub scene, randomly found in the middle of…wherever. I think it’s a Bachelor requirement. After listening to villan Chris go on about his rules for fantasy suites (presumptuous), and in general being a control freak, hero Nate responded with ““It’s a form of control that damages good women.” This is a man we need representing men on tv. At least for now. Who knows what skeltons lurk in his closet yet, though. Still…

  • Meatball and Spaghetti

    This season even features a guy named Meatball, likely to end up in the friendzone because he showed up with a very large meatball sub on week one. And on week two, he brought the spaghetti, only to watch it be shared Lady and the Tramp style by the Bachelorettes. Hey, if it doesn’t work out with any of the guys, Rachel and Gabby will always have each other. And this “roll the credits” scene.

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