My Daughter With Alopecia Was Being Bullied By Her Sister, So I’m Shaving Her Sister’s Head As A Punishment
Marissa has a daughter with Alopecia. She got a new wig that she was excited about and told her friends it was real hair. Her sister got jealous of the attention she was getting and pulled her wig off and ruined it. Marissa is furious that her daughter was bullying her sister and also that she ruined an expensive wig that she can’t afford to replace. So she decided to punish her daughter by shaving her head. Is that a fair punishment? Should her daughter be more sensitive to her sister’s Alopecia? Or is it normal for a teenage girl to be jealous of her sister getting attention?
Here’s Marissa’s Call About Her Daughter With Alopecia And Her Other Daughter The Bully
Jonathan: Today for panic button we have Marissa. Hey, Marissa.
Marissa: Hey.
Jonathan: You have a bit of a hairy problem going on. I’m sorry. Did I get it? You have an issue going on with your ten and twelve year old daughters. What’s happening?
Marissa: Yeah. So my ten year old daughter has alopecia. And if you don’t know what that is, alopecia means that her hair either doesn’t grow or grows in really, really patchy.
Jonathan: Yeah, yeah.
Marissa: So, it’s just kind of it’s been an ongoing issue of us trying to figure that out. And recently I bought her a really nice wig. It’s really expensive. Really nice.
Jonathan: Yeah. Because there’s cheap wigs. And they’re not great.
Marissa: Yeah. But, you know, an expensive wig.
Ayla: Surprisingly expensive.
Jonathan: Everybody’s seen a cheap wig.
Ayla: I remember a friend of mine whose daughter had alopecia and all of a sudden she went to school with a wig. And it really made it look, obviously like she had hair again. But the confidence, like, you could see that she was happy again. She was like, I have hair.
Marissa: Yeah
Ayla: So, I’m assuming that’s what happened with your daughter.
Marissa: Yeah. It was a game changer for us, which is really nice. And, long story short, I guess my ten year old told her classmates that she was on a new medication. And this was really her hair. She just got excited, and you know how kids are.
Jonathan: Yeah. I mean, why not?
Marissa: Okay, so she’s got this wig on. She’s looking cute. She’s feeling really good. And my 12 year old has always kind of had a thing about this because my little daughter gets a lot of attention when she walks into a place and is bald.
Ayla: Yeah.
Marissa: And my 12 year old snatches the wig off her head and ripped it up. Destroyed a very expensive wig. In front of the whole school.
Ayla: Right. Oh my God.
Marissa: And my daughter just has a meltdown at school. I have to go in and mediate. There’s crying. It’s a whole mess. I’m absolutely furious with her. And I just don’t know, because, again, it’s an ongoing problem.
Jonathan: Right
Marissa: I don’t know what the most appropriate punishment is. And frankly, I’m at my wit’s end. So I’ve decided that I’d like to shave my twelve year old’s head. And I just need some backup if this is a good idea or if I’m acting as insane as they are.
Ayla: Wait, so you want to teach her a lesson? An eye for an eye thing or a hair for a hair.
Jonathan: Let her see what it’s like to be bald.
Marissa: Yeah, exactly.
Jonathan: Let her see what your other daughter has to go through all the time. And how it’s not about getting attention. It’s about struggling with an issue.
Ayla: I mean, I don’t know is that a good idea.
Jonathan: I don’t know, man. The part of my brain that grew up in the 80s and 90s is like shave her. And use Nair so it doesn’t grow back anytime soon.
Ayla: But, as a parent in 2024, isn’t this a softer, gentler world, right?
Jonathan: I mean.
Ayla: Is there a happy medium? Maybe not super gentle, but maybe not like shaving off her hair.
Jonathan: I don’t think.
Marissa: If you’ve got a suggestion. I want to hear it.
Jonathan: Yeah, I don’t, because it would be really hard for me not to shave her head. It would be really hard. mean, I’m getting mad just listening to Marissa tell us this story..
Ayla: Yeah. Because the twelve year old should be a big sister.
Jonathan: Much less if it was my own daughter.
Ayla: Yeah.
Jonathan: You’re supposed to be the one looking out for me when other people make fun of her. Not the one making her feel bad.
Marissa: Yeah.
Jonathan: Okay. All right.
Ayla: Sorry, Marissa.
