Roger’s wife comes from a family of chronic over-gifters. Not only do they give gifts for ridiculous holidays and anniversaries, they expect the same in return. How does Roger confront his wife about her family before they get sucked into being chronic over-gifters as well?
Ayla Brown: And it’s the gift that keeps on giving. Today I have the gift of speaking to Roger. Hi, Roger.
Roger: You can say that again. Thank you so much for taking my call. I really appreciate it.
Ayla Brown: Gosh, of course, I hear that you have a gift question. And I know if I can’t help you out, then our listeners absolutely can. So what is it?
Roger: Okay, just a little backstory. This is not a money thing. This is more of an etiquette thing. I’ve been married to my wife for three years and we dated for years before that. Her family, though I said this gently, might be insane. I’m not sure. My in-laws, her father and mother, are the best gift givers in the entire world. But they go way too hard if that makes sense.
Ayla Brown: They go too hard at giving. I mean, is that even possible?
Roger: No. Like Labor Day is coming up. They’re going to give my kids, Labor Day gifts. They’re going to give them like $50 each. And then my kids are going to think that Labor Day is a holiday where you get presents every year. They go all out. They get expensive gifts for my kids on trivial days. Oh, it’s your first day of third grade. Here’s all the Pokemon cards. And then they’re just going like, I can’t wait. Their anniversary, my in-laws anniversary is in August, and they’ve made it known that they expect the same sort of treatment. I have to get them a gift. They’re always getting us amazing gifts for not even just like our anniversary. Oh, didn’t you guys have your first kiss today? You know what I mean?
Ayla Brown: I can. I already have them. My mom is the same way.
Roger: Oh, okay.
Ayla Brown: I know. These are my people. You should appreciate the gifts. I don’t know what’s wrong with you Roger.
Roger: I do, but I don’t think my kids appreciate it. I don’t think.
Ayla Brown: They love Pokémon cards. Okay? Like, let’s not let them play right now. Honestly, I think you just don’t like it because you don’t like that you have to live up to the gift giving.
Roger: That could be it. But I guess then how do I rise to the occasion? How is it normal that they did go so above and beyond though? I’m not just being a cynic. Is that normal?
Ayla Brown: Is it just your in-laws or is your wife the same way with gift giving? How high is this bar being set?
Roger: She goes pretty hard, but they go harder. That’s the thing, trying to one up each other like she’s getting a gift for them. They got her something better. It’s like, how did you get yourself and your daughter something for your birthday? I really don’t get it. You know what I mean?
Ayla Brown: This is hilarious. I’ve never had anyone call in to say, How do I get my in-laws to stop giving so much? I mean, if if all of us were just so lucky to have in-laws like that. So.Roger, let’s circle back a little bit. They’re giving a lot. You’re just wondering, how can I tell them to stop? Because it is setting the bar really, really high. So when actual holidays, like, God forbid, Christmas?.
Roger: Oh, my gosh, Christmas I can’t think about it.
Ayla Brown: You don’t even want to think about it.
Roger: Okay, So it’s too much pressure right now. I’m thinking about Christmas of 2025 or something at this point.
