Sara’s husband lost his job a few months ago and has been working gig jobs to make ends meet. Sara came into the marriage with a Rainy Day Fund he doesn’t know about, and has been adding to it since they’ve been together. But she considers that “her money” in case of emergency and is nervous to share it with him in case the marriage goes sour. Would you ever keep money from your husband at a time he was struggling? Is it a good idea to have a secret Rainy Day Fund?
Jonathan: Today for panic button, we have Sara. Hey, Sara.
Sara: Hi. How are y’all?
Jonathan: Sarah’s problem is she likes the idea of her husband working until his back breaks, and doesn’t want to share any money with him. That’s just what people are saying about you, Sarah. What’s going on?
Sara: I wouldn’t say that I’m making him work until his back breaks. He lost his job a couple months ago, and he is just doing a lot of good gig work. He’s working like ten on average or probably 12 hour days. Somewhere in between there. But driving for Uber or Uber Eats.
Ayla: He’s just doing whatever can pay the bills right now.
Sara: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And it’s hard because his job was really well paying before. It was his career. But he got laid off and that’s been hard for us. I’m really proud of him that he’s still going out there and working despite what the job is.
Ayla: And I think that’s great.
Sara: He is still putting our family at the forefront. So I’m not making him work to the bone.
Jonathan: Right. But I mean.
Sara: It’s that he keeps working for the family.
Jonathan: But he probably, if he had a good paying job before, he’s going from I guess like maybe $70 an hour to maybe 15, right?
Sara: Something like that.
Jonathan: Okay, so what’s the problem? I mean, I get times are tough, but what’s the issue?
Sara: Well, I, I have a significant secret. I have about $50,000 in savings right now.
Jonathan: All right.
Sara: That he doesn’t know about.
Jonathan: Oh.
Ayla: Okay. And how long have you had that? The savings.
Sara: Well, I’ve been putting money in it even before I met him. It’s my money.
Ayla: Yeah. My money. Yeah, sure. Okay.
Jonathan: He doesn’t know about it.
Ayla: I’ve been in the same boat where I’ve made the money before meeting you, and this is my money, right?
Jonathan: But you’re watching him go work every day for about $15 an hour, and you’re not sharing your savings. You’re not using any of your savings to help you guys.
Sara: Well, that money is my money for my rainy day fund. You know, how I want to spend it.
Jonathan: Okay.
Sara: And it’s just important that he earns his money. Like our money.
Jonathan: Well, what do you consider a rainy day fund? Because, I mean, if he’s working for $15 now.
Ayla: Good question.
Jonathan: 15 hours a day for 15 bucks an hour, I would say it’s pouring.
Sara: I don’t know, just like a facial at the spa. Maybe a jacket that I like.
Jonathan: That’s a rainy day.
Ayla: But it’s her money. What she basically is saying is, I want my husband to work hard for our joint account money.
Jonathan: So he has to work hard for their money, but she gets to just keep her money. Well, so what if he started saying, you know what, all the money I make, I’m keeping to myself?
Sara: He wouldn’t do that.
Jonathan: Oh, okay. But you would.
Ayla: Well, no, this is money that she had before she even met him.
Jonathan: But she said it’s accumulated while they’ve been married.
Ayla: Is it accumulating? Because I just heard that you had it before you met each other.
Sara: Well, I mean, I’ve been putting money towards it right since I’ve been with him.
Ayla: You’ve got to stop that. You’re not helping your case at all.
Jonathan: All right. Let’s see what people think. Is there somebody in your life who’s putting pressure on you to give up the money?
Sara: My sister knows about it.
Jonathan: And she thinks the same thing we do.
Sara: It’s been stressful, but again, I love my husband so much. I’m so proud of him and I want him to look back one day when he does get a new job and be proud. He’s looking, and he will get a better job.
Jonathan: I’m sorry. Well, yeah.
Sara: You know, I want him to feel proud that he’s working and working hard. That’s important for the marriage.
