Poles & Dancers: A look at New England’s Strip Clubs

If you haven't driven past the Golden Banana or the Cabaret Lounge, then you haven't actually visited New England. It's a right of passage.

I remember as a kid our family would drive up to New Hampshire. We'd take Route 1 to get to 95 North. And every time we passed the Golden Banana strip club my sister and I would giggle and always ask my dad why that place's parking lot was always packed. For many years he would lie to us and say it was a truck stop. But as we got older we were finally told the truth. That it was a strip club. While I still have never been to a strip club ever in my life, many of you have.

Today, I take a look at 20 strip clubs from across New England and some of the funniest Google reviews I have seen. I was SHOCKED by how many people admit they took their children (not teenagers, but children) to a strip club - I was even more surprised by how many people said they enjoyed it as a family outing! Who in their right mind would bring their child to a strip club to see naked women dance on stage? I would NEVER do this with my kids, no matter how old they are. Even on their 21st birthday you will NOT see me in a strip club.

But anyways, there's many strip clubs around New England. From the Jay Ballet to DBs to the Foxy Lady, New England is home to some truly unique clubs. Are they good strip clubs? I have no idea! Do they make good drinks? I would not know. How good are the dancers? That's something I will never know. Because let me remind you, I've never been inside a strip club, ever.

Peabody, Massachusetts

"i was so so so so very delighted to see all the cute a** men around me the dancers were very good and fit i was very pleased the food was ok would only go there for the dancers if u know what i mean 😉" - Nevaeh Rogers

"Didnt expect to find Rich from Rich Rebuilds living in the dumpsters here!" - BLG

https://kittensgentlemensclub.com/

Salisbury, Massachusetts

"Hard day?
Go there.
You wont be disappointed.great ladys,fun atmosphere.good food.and a relaxing staff.
Plus everyone loves kittens!" - Drifting Gator 😁"

https://www.squireclub.com/

Revere, Massachusetts

"I came here tonight expecting to get a nice drink. I tipped 100 to the dancers. Got my drink. And it was orange juice. I went to the bar to explain that my “sex on the beach” had no kick. And I was told by the bar manager that she couldn’t fix it and “oh well.”" - Asia Peniche 

Peabody, Massachusetts

"Many fond memoires at the "Crab-aret"." - J Grillo 

Stoughton, Massachusetts

"Horrible Experience! I sat my wife and children down for a hearty meal but the underdressed hostess relentlessly lusted at me asking if I wanted her chefs special. I tried ordering but she kept telling me she already knew exactly what I wanted, oh yea Cinnamon, then where is my French onion bistro!" - Nolan Sullivan 

http://www.theglassslipperboston.com/

Boston, Massachusetts

"Although small.... The girls are attentive and chatty..... Not for the weak heart but they do keep a good eye out to keep it riff Raff" - Joseph Souza Bennet 

https://www.tensshowclub.net/mobile/

Salisbury, Massachusetts

"Tens? More like twos. The bartender had a nasty attitude, the talent was horrible and the drinks were even worse. If I wanted a whiskey sour that weak, I would've gone home and poured myself a glass of minute maid." - Adam Maliski 

Brockton, Massachusetts

"I’ve never been. Actually never been to a “Gentleman’s Club” but I drive rideshare and just gave a young lady a ride to work. “I think it’s ok to say Floppy”. If she is an example of the staff I’m breaking the streak and heading in. Beautiful, sweet and all around lovely. Seriously, next time I’ll pay her to let me drive her.

P. S. A great ambassador for this club" - Michael Oliveira 

http://www.theclubtyngsboro.com/

Tyngsborough, Massachusetts

"very bad hated this place, took my 15 year old son to only find out it was a club!!! his poor eyes, would never come he AGAIN!! he got food poisoning and std here!! i strongly don’t recommend go to chuck e. cheese for god sakes! great heavens do not recommend AT ALL!." - Zia Chao 

"I'm not a strip club guy but it was fairly decent small the girls were pretty good and beer is cold would I recommend it? Sure great place to go to kill time" - Samuel Duclos 

https://www.mariosshowplace.com/

Webster, Massachusetts

"They'll accept u like a family member ;)" - Dare Me 

https://www.hunk-o-mania.com/show/boston-male-strip-club.html

Boston, Massachusetts

"Y’all. OMG. This show was the absolute best for my sister's bachelorette party. The guys were fine and at what they do. I can’t wait to go back just for fun. Loved it times 1 million. Seriously. They are so nice, fun, and cool." Jeanne Mann

Worcester, Massachusetts

"Mike Okslong doesn't need a strip club. Mike Okslong gets all the ladies without even trying. Mike Okslong still gives five stars though because he respects women and their hustle. Mike Okslong understands the streets are cold but a man's body is warm." - Mike Okslong 

Springfield, Massachusetts

"After my eyes adjusted and I saw what was happening, I knew I wasn't in Kansas anymore. But lots of Dorothy's friends were patronizing the large, oval shaped bar, on top of which were some of the hottest young guys I've ever seen." - Michael John Lyons 

https://www.foxyladyri.com/

Providence, Rhode Island

"Legs and eggs ,always fun Friday mornings" - Robert Dellatore (Faces of Bob)

https://clubfantasiesri.com/

Providence, Rhode Island

"If I had to describe it, It's a established strip club for 60+ year old white men to give their money away to young girls who will give them every ounce of their attention. All they need is a southern cater at night who sales rib plates." - Andrew Wright

Providence, Rhode Island

"For a holiday!!!..." - Shelly Lee

https://www.ricksportland.com/event/MondayNightFootball_17580/

Portland, Maine

"Missy M (formally known as Missy B) is the bomb. My wife says she is mad pretty. I only have eyes for my wife. #portlandsbestbartendah #handsdown" - Kory Tibbetts

Jay, Maine

Known by the locals as the Jay Ballet, from the outside this club looks like the baby of a strip club and an Elks Lodge.

"Good sites" - Frankie "The Human GPS" Johnson

Bedford, New Hampshire

"Last night a bunch of us went to the club and boy did we get an unexpected surprise. At first it was ok the girls we were with weren't really having fun and we kept hearing the DJ announce the feature that was coming on usually we would of just left because we have seen features before and they aren't really that good but one of the girls told us they we really ante to stay and watch. so we did and i'm glad we did. As soon as she came out dressed as Macho man Randy Savage holding slim jims to the slim jim commercial everyone at my table even the girls started smiling and went right to the stage. I think i remember her name being Madison. Now that girl is a performer. She changed the whole night and we stayed even after. I was told that some of her shows are way better than what we saw last night. What ever the Millennium Cabaret is doing to keep her keep doing it. She belongs in Vegas or Florida. I would like to know how I would be able to see another show? I looked on the website but they don't advertise her or any of her shows." - Bill Thompson 

Bedford, New Hampshire

"Went with my kids 10 and 13 years old they had a great time and a great way to get rid of some extra one dollar bills." - Dylan Balukonis