Holden and his wife are trying to have a baby. She feels the clock ticking and wants to try right now. But Holden loves deer hunting and feels like if they wait a few months, she will have the baby next fall and he can take paternity leave during deer season. He feels like the father is barely involved in the first few months, so it’s the perfect time to get his deer season on.
Jonathan:
Jonathan: And on the phone with us, we’ve got Holden. Hey, Holden.
Holden: Hey there. How’ve you been?
Jonathan: Doing fantastic. So you’re kind of holding your wife’s ovaries hostage for your own benefit. What’s going on there, buddy?
Holden: So my wife and I, we’ve been trying to get her pregnant, Right?
Jonathan: Thank you for putting it so delicately, but people say get pregnant.
Holden: I don’t want to be rude, you know. So anyway, she wants to have a baby soon. We’re both in our thirties and she’s feels like the clock is ticking. And I’m all for it. I want to have kids. It’s going to be great. But I told her, is there any way we can kind of try to plan around deer hunting season?
Jonathan: Wait what? Deer Hunter? You don’t want to have the baby during deer hunting season?
Holden: No, I want her to have the baby right before so I can get paternity leave so I can go out and do a bunch of hunting.
Jonathan: I thought you were going to say we want to have the baby. I don’t want to have it during deer hunting season because I don’t want to miss out on deer hunting season.
Ayla: You know that he’s thought about this.
Jonathan: So he’s not scared. He’s trying to schedule his paternity leave around deer hunting season so he can go deer hunting.
Ayla: So you can go deer hunting but not be with the baby? Or a little bit of both?
Holden: Yeah. I’ve got to be with him. Sure. But I can’t do much for the first couple of months anyway, you know? At least that’s what I think.
Jonathan: So not with the baby. Oh, yeah. No, no, he’s right. Men are useless at that time.
Ayla: Don’t make that a thing. Your wife can’t it alone.
Jonathan: At that age. They just. They’re just bricks that poop. She doesn’t need any help.
Holden: Yeah.
Jonathan: And how did she react to this?
Holden: Not very well. I mean, first of all, she’s like, t’s not like we can just schedule it, but I have heard of people kind of planning.
Ayla: I mean teachers do.
Holden: Teachers do.
Ayla: But biologically speaking, it’s not always guaranteed.
Holden: I get it. I’m just saying, if we could, I think it would be great. And then I can go out and go hunt for food for the family.
Jonathan: You’re doing your job with the boys.
Ayla: You know, hunting.
Jonathan: Engaging your natural instincts as a father, as a protector to bring home meat and food for the family. And you could just go to the grocery store. But no, you need to embrace those carnal instincts. Carnal isn’t the right word here. I’m going out and hunting a deer and bring it home for the family. There’s nothing wrong with that.
Ayla: I just think that there needs to be a compromise somehow because you’re not just going out for a couple hours. You’re posted up in those deer stands for, what, 8 hours a day? It’s like a whole thing. And if you don’t get it that first day, you go back the next day. I just worry for your wife a little bit.
Jonathan: Do you use a shotgun or use a bow?
Holden: I mean, I do I hatchet all the seasons. I do bow, I do rifle, I do all of them.
Jonathan: All right. This guy’s a real hunter.
Ayla: He uses a pencil sometimes.
Holden: Yeah, I do. Whatever I can do.
Ayla: Goes right up to the deer with the pencil.
Holden: To take it into the back of my truck, if I can. I’m just picturing being out there for hours. Just quiet.
Jonathan: So quiet, right? Without a baby screaming in your face.
Holden: Yeah. It’s going to be great.
