Indignant guests expressing dissatisfaction with ordered dishes served by young waiter in restaurant

My Wife Thinks I’m Going To Far With My “Unethical Life Hacks” But I Think I’m Just Getting Ahead Of The Man

 

 

Henry has been using life hacks, like putting a band aid in his food to get it for free, to save money. But his wife wants his to stop because its unethical.

 

 

Check Out Henry’s Explanation of His “Unethical Life Hacks”

 

 

Jonathan: Today for Panic Button we have Henry.

Henry: Hey, you guys, how are you doing?

Jonathan: Doing good. So, Henry, you are somebody who I wouldn’t say is a couponer, or just somebody who searches for discounts. You make your own discounts.

Ayla: Oh, wow.

Jonathan: What do you do, Henry? Yeah, Ayla I know, I think you’re gonna like this.

Ayla: Oh, well, I do like to save money. Yeah.

Henry: This is really all about saving money and beating the system and being frugal. Life Hacks. And my wife kind of gets on my case because of it sometimes. And I don’t do this all the time. But once in a while, when we go out to a restaurant, I will bring a little napkin with me. And inside of the napkin, I have a band aid, and sometimes I will put it in my food.

Ayla: Henry!

Henry: And I’ll tell the waiter, hey, listen, this was inside of my burger or buried in my salad. You know, I shouldn’t pay full price. I shouldn’t pay at all. And then sometimes we get the meal for free.

Ayla: Henry, that’s not a good way of saving money. That’s not what I like.

Jonathan: That’s not smart?

Ayla: That’s not frugal. That’s not smart.

Jonathan: You don’t think that smart?

Ayla: No.

Henry: Okay, I’ll say the same thing to you that that I say to my wife. This is really smart. Because these are big companies. These are big corporations. I’m not doing it to a mom and pop place. I’m doing it to a place where it’s huge, you know what I mean? It doesn’t even hurt them.

Ayla: Oh, so they deserve it because they’re big chains?

Henry: Well, let’s be honest. They’re not exactly giving back to the community. They’re not. They pay their people very poorly and all that

What Other Life Hacks Does Henry Use?

Jonathan: You also said that you do this with UberEats and other food delivery. What do you do there?

Ayla: I don’t want to know.

Henry: This is actually really smart because it’s technical. So let’s say I order a burger. I’ll get the burger and before I’m gonna eat it. I will use a color filter on it if to make it look like the burger’s not fully cooked. Now, I don’t pay the full price at UberEats.

Jonathan: So it looks like the burger’s pink and you’re like it’s good thing I didn’t get E.coli from this.

Henry: Right. And then they’re like hey we’re sorry this keeps happening. I’m like I know it keeps happening. So I get the money back there.

Ayla: I’m sorry. My jaw is just dropped to the floor right now. Henry, you’re telling me that you get a perfectly fine cooked burger delivered to you, but you’re changing the color of the burger with some sort of filter or Photoshop or whatever to make it look pink.

Jonathan: Which is not what was actually delivered.

Ayla: And then they give you the money back because you’re sending in a fake photo.

Henry: Yes, but the emphasis on fine burger. It’s not a great burger. If it’s a great burger, I won’t do it.

Jonathan: So he just has exacting and high standards. Let me play devil’s advocate real quick with him.

Ayla: Let’s not.

Jonathan: Because Henry made this point but I’m just going to clarify it. His point is they rip us off all the time. So what if he’s just getting a little bit back?

Henry: Do you think it’s fair that they upcharge so much on their meat. That’s not what the meat costs. But they’re up charging like crazy on that. On top of that, whether it’s Uber Eats or DoorDash or if you’re going out to eat, we’re supposed to tip the waitstaff because they don’t pay them a living wage. So we have to pay for that.

Ayla: We have to pay 20 percent.

Jonathan: 25, 30% extra for good service.

Ayla: Yes. And especially if you want food delivered to you for the convenience of having it delivered to you. Yes, you have to pay a little extra for that. If you’re not going to go to the restaurant and pick it up yourself.

Jonathan: Let me ask you this. Henry, when you order this food and you put a band aid down, do you tip the waiter still?

Henry: Yeah, I give them a little scratch because I’m getting the meal for free.

Jonathan: For free with a tip. Even better Henry.

Henry: It makes sense, you know. It’s like, this isn’t your fault, you know?

Ayla: Yeah. No. It’s yours.

Henry: Well, no, I mean, for savings. And my wife freaks out about it, too. She is on your side.

Ayla: It’s embarrassing. Henry.

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