My Fiancé Filters Our Photos On Instagram To Make Me Look Thinner But Doesn’t Change Himself
Samantha just got engaged and her fiancé uploaded their engagement photos to Instagram. She noticed that the photos looked different on his Instagram than they did on hers and realized he had filtered the photos to make her look thinner and remove the mole on her face. He says he was just trying to make them both look their best, but he didn’t change anything about himself. Should she be offended? Or worried that he thinks she is too fat? Is this a red flag?
Here’s Samantha’s Instagram Dilemma:
Jonathan: Today for panic button we have Samantha. Hey, Samantha.
Samantha: Hey.
Jonathan: So, Samantha, you seem like a very pleasant person. I can’t imagine wanting to change anything about you, but I guess your boyfriend or your fiancé feels differently. What’s going on?
Samantha: Thank you so much. I am a little triggered by this one. My fiancé was using a filter in his photos, and I know this because I have the same photos and I was going through his photos.
Jonathan: On what? On Instagram or on his phone?
Samantha: On Instagram. Yeah. The picture just did not look like me at all. It was skinnier and he removed a mole that I have on my face, and I just feel like it’s super disturbing. I mean, if I change photo, I personally think it’s only okay if I do it.
Jonathan: Hold on. So you’re taking photos as a couple? Like your engagement photos or something. And he is going in and using a filter on you to get rid of blemishes and also make you thinner.
Ayla: Listen, as someone who has a mole on their face. You’ve got to rock the mole girlfriend.
Jonathan: Yeah, okay, but he’s also he’s making you look skinnier too.
Samantha: Yes. He made me look skinnier in one of the photos.
Jonathan: Okay.
Ayla: And we we’re sure he’s doing this, not the photographer of your engagement photos.
Samantha: No, I’m sure it’s him.
Jonathan: He admitted to it.
Samantha: Yes, yes, yes.
Jonathan: Good. Okay. So what was his reasoning?
Samantha: He just said that he wants us both to look our best. But the thing is that he didn’t touch up anything else on his side at all.
Jonathan: Oh my gosh, that’s so cocky. Oh my gosh. So he didn’t change anything about himself, but he changed you.
Ayla: What a jerk.
Samantha: Nothing about himself. I guess like he thinks I need to lose weight or something. But he made me look dramatically skinnier than what I look like in real life. But, like I said, this filter over me removed a birthmark that I have on my face. I have no issue with it. You can barely even see it.
Jonathan: I’m just going to ask this question. I’m not justifying it. But you’ve mentioned the birthmark a couple times. Or the mole. How big is the mole?
Samantha: It’s not big at all. It’s just there. It’s barely noticeable
Ayla: Okay. But it clearly affects her feelings.
Jonathan: I mean, again, it shouldn’t matter, but, I mean, if it was a cute little freckle.
Samantha: You probably wouldn’t be able to see it.
Jonathan: I actually would be able to see you because I have a weird obsession with moles. But okay, the only thing I could say in his defense is if it’s big enough of a birthmark, then maybe it is an issue with him that you need to talk about.
Ayla: OK
Jonathan: And again, I’m not justifying it. I’m just saying maybe this is a bigger problem than him just being a shallow jerk. I don’t know. She needs to have this thing looked at.
Ayla: Yeah. You know what the problem is?
Samantha: I saw the photo. You guys would not be able to tell that. But making me look skinnier and stuff like that.
Ayla: Can I just say that I know multiple people who filter themselves and their spouses on Instagram.
Jonathan: I think if women do, it’s fine.
Ayla: Oh, okay. So this is a woman doing it versus a man thing. Yeah. This is a problem.
Jonathan: Because I couldn’t care less if Katie did that to photos of us. I couldn’t care less.
Ayla: If she took things off your face or made you look better, for sure. Yeah, not that she would, but if she did, you wouldn’t have problem with that?
Jonathan: I’d be like, I get it.
Ayla: I see. I think that is just a lie. Everyone’s just lying on social media to put the best version of themselves. And then when you see them in real life, it’s just off putting.
