My Girlfriend Is Getting A Tattoo To Commemorate A Dead Iguana, But That Isn’t Even A Real Pet
Jack’s girlfriend had a pet iguana which he hated. It recently died and she has been taking it hard. She even says she is getting a giant tattoo of the iguana on her entire arm. But Jack doesn’t understand why she is so upset because he doesn’t think an iguana is a real pet. Should he be more sympathetic to her or is she over reacting?
Check Out Jack’s Call About Her Pet Iguana
Jonathan: And today for Panic button we have Jack. His problem is his girlfriend’s pet died, and he’s not feeling a lot of sympathy for what’s going on there.
Ayla: No empathy. Jack.
Jack: Yeah, well, my girlfriend’s pet iguana died. She’s had it for 15 years. Way before I knew her. And I’ve got to say, I hated the thing. It was weird. Creepy. It smelled funny. It would jump on the coffee table when we were watching TV.
Ayla:Iguana’s jump?
Jonathan: Oh yeah.
Ayla: I just knew they fall off trees when it gets cold.
Jonathan: My wife had a teacher in high school or junior high school. They had an iguana in the class, and she said she hated it because it would literally jump from a tree that he had in there to under people’s desks while they were trying to study or take a test. She hated the thing.
Ayla: Oh, that’s kind of cool, actually. Okay. Keep going Jack.
Jack: I feel bad because it was her pet, but I feel like she’s making too big of a deal about it. She’s just taken bereavement off work. And now she says she’s gonna get an iguana tattoo up her arm all the way up to her shoulder.
Jonathan: What? To commemorate the iguana that she had? It’s just an iguana tattoo? Okay.
Ayla: I bet the tattoo artist has never seen that one before.
Jonathan: No, I bet if you’re someone who gets a tattoo like that, you probably would.
Ayla: Does she have tats? Is she a tattoo girl. Or would this be her first one?
Jack: I wouldn’t call her a tattoo girl. No.
Jonathan: So she doesn’t have any.
Jack: A tiny one.
Jonathan: Okay. Yeah.
Ayla: You all have one tiny little one.
Jonathan: Like a tramp stamp thing.
Ayla: But the iguana would be a whole arm.
Jonathan: Yeah, a whole arm thing that’s too far. But, I mean, why do you care? Is she just not processing her grief correctly as far as you’re concerned or what?
Jack: I mean, you could call it that. But it’s not like this was a real pet. You know, it’s not a dog. It’s not a cat. I could understand if it was.
Jonathan: What about you? What about a dog?
Jack: I could maybe understand a dog. More than this lizard. You know, it licks its eyeball. It doesn’t love you.
Ayla: Oh, you don’t know that, Jack. My sister’s a veterinarian, and she loves all animals equally.
Jonathan: Yeah, she’s not the best case example.
Ayla: She would tell you that an iguana is definitely a pet that I’m sure has love for people.
Jonathan: People had pet rocks back in the 70s and 80s. That doesn’t make them real pets.
Jack: Yeah, it’s a cold blooded lizard. I’m pretty sure it only wants to eat.
Ayla: But you don’t have to deal with it anymore, Jack. Just wipe your hands clean. Why is this such a big deal to you?
Jack: Well, it’s a big deal because she’s convinced her boss to take bereavement days.
Jonathan: Oh my God.
Jack: And I mean, and she’s going to tattoo her body for the rest of her life now. I don’t want to date a girl with an iguana on her arm. I’m sorry.
Ayla: Okay, then don’t work this. It’s not up to you. It’s her body, her choice.
Jonathan: Okay. All right.
Jack: I have to look at it.
Jonathan: Don’t you think at a certain point if you’re doing body modification like that, then the person you’re with should have some say.
Ayla: They’re not married.
Jonathan: Oh, so not until you’re married.
Ayla: Yeah, yeah.
Jonathan: You’re a hypocrite.
