Lucas is close with a female co-worker whose husband died a few months ago. He wants to ask her out, but he’s not sure if it’s too soon. She still seems sad and mourning, but if he waits too long, someone else may ask her out first. How long should someone wait after a co-worker’s husband died to ask her out on a date?
Jonathan: We have Lucas on the phone with us for panic button. Hey, Lucas.
Lucas: Hey. Good morning.
Jonathan: So your problem is, when is it appropriate to start hitting on a widow? What happened?
Lucas: So I work with this woman, and we’ve worked together probably about three years. I’ve been there about three years. She’s been there roughly around the same amount of time. We have cubicles that are really close to each other, and I’ve known her for a while. The thing is her husband died about three months ago.
Ayla: Oh, wow.
Lucas: Yeah, it was sad. And I was the one that helped put together the flower arrangement for the office. And I got cards and everything like that.
Ayla: That’s nice of you. How did he die? If you don’t mind me asking, was it sudden or was it expected?
Lucas: Yeah. It was a car accident. It was definitely a premature type of situation. Sad. It’s sad. But here’s the dilemma. Me and her have always gotten along, even when her husband was still in the picture.
Jonathan: You’ve got a Jim and Pam thing going on.
Lucas: You know people would joke that I’m her work husband so to speak. And the thing is it’s been about three months and I’m just wondering, is that too soon to make a move?
Ayla: Make a move? Like, ask her out?
Lucas: Yeah, ask her out, take her out.
Jonathan: I mean, what’s the rush?
Lucas: Me and her get along swimmingly, but she’s also very pretty. Well, obviously I wouldn’t say that otherwise.
Ayla: It sound like he doesn’t want competition.
Jonathan: So you’re worried about some other dudes swooping in already? Probably. Guys have already talked about it.
Ayla: And there might be someone that we don’t know that’s not at work that’s in the picture. Someone that’s emotionally there for her during her time of troubles. And sometimes those are the ones that women go with first.
Lucas: Right
Ayla: And I’m not sure what you have given her emotionally, except obviously doing the flower thing. And I’m not saying you have to, but I’m just saying, statistically speaking, I feel like when women and or men go through a tragic situation, it’s like that first person that was there for them during those hard times are the ones that they fall in love with.
Jonathan: Well, let me ask you, is she back at work? Obviously. Because God forbid you get any time off in this economy. So she she’s back at work. Is she still sad? I mean, is she still mourning?
Lucas: Initially, initially she came back after a couple weeks or whatever. She was clearly very distraught. It seems like she’s getting better. I just talked to her the other day. It looked like she was still kind of tearing up about something, and I would assume it was her husband.
Jonathan: Mourning could have been anything, though.
Ayla: Maybe her feet were hurting from her heels.
Jonathan: I don’t know, maybe she watched that Billie Eilish performance from the Oscars.
Ayla: So she’s clearly still emotional about it. So the question is, does he go after her and ask her out and take his chance, or should he give her more space?
Jonathan: Risk some dude swooping in and stealing this hot little honey?
Ayla: Oh man. But she hasn’t mourned enough. It’s only been less than three months.
Jonathan: Yeah. So what. She’s emotionally vulnerable. Go get her.
Ayla: It’s seems too soon. Oh my gosh.
