Ryan hates his first real name, but he has the same name as his fiancé. Now that they’re getting married she’s concerned about having the same legal name, so she wants him to go by his first name, Mallory. But he doesn’t want to go by what he thinks is a “girls name”. Should Ryan do what his fiancé wants even though he really hates his real first name? Or should he stand his ground?
Ayla Brown: Good morning to Ryan. But I hear that’s not your real name. What is happening with the name confusion today?
Ryan / Mallory: So Ryan is actually my middle name. But I’ve been dating and I’m now engaged to my fiancé. Her name is actually Ryan as well.
Ayla Brown: So that’s her first name. And Ryan is your middle name?
Ryan / Mallory: My middle name, yes.
Ayla Brown: All right. Why do you go by Ryan? Middle name?
Ryan / Mallory: Because I really hate my first name.
Ayla Brown: Is it okay for me to ask what that is?
Ryan / Mallory: Yes.
Ayla Brown: You sounds so defeated. What is it?
Ryan / Mallory: It’s become such a mess. My grandfather was a war hero. It’s like a whole family thing. His name was Mallory. So my real first name is actually Mallory.
Ayla Brown: Really? Mallory. I mean.
Ryan / Mallory: Yeah.
Ayla Brown: Jim its not nice to not laugh. Okay, so I have my phone out, and I just looked up Mallory. It is a gender neutral name. It’s not a male or a female, even though I usually associate it with a female name. And the origin of the name is French. And I guess it means unfortunate, which is very unfortunate for you. It sounds like you hate it.
Ryan / Mallory: I agree. But since we got engaged, she’s been concerned that we’re going to have the same name when she takes my last name. So she wants me to go by Mallory. And I was like, I really hate Mallory, so why don’t you just go by your middle name? And then we could both be cute. Like, we’ll both be like a couple who goes by a middle name. Only problem is, her middle name is Elizabeth, and she’s actually named after her mother’s sister who died during pregnancy. So every time someone calls her Elizabeth, her mom gets really upset and cries.
Ayla Brown: So no one can go by the name that they want to go by is what this sounds like.
Ryan / Mallory: I mean, I wish it wasn’t this complicated. I would really prefer to go by Ryan. Everyone knows me as Ryan. But I tried it. I was like, All right, I guess I’ll start going by Mallory. I told all my friends and everybody. Then a few weeks ago, we went to Atlanta because my friend is getting married. So we had like a little guys trip and we went to this really buttoned up, traditional southern place, and they put my name in for the table. And then when we got called for the table, they were like, Ms. Mallory, Ms.. Mallory, your table’s ready.
Ayla Brown: You know, they’re probably like, Ms. Mallory. Come on Mallory, Come on. You’re like, Oh, I hate my name. I hate it so much. So that’s why you’re calling me today, correct? You just want to know, is anyone else dealing with something like this where they have to share the same name with someone else? Or who should change the name in this situation? Can they both go by Ryan? Because Mallory is your real name