My Son Wants To Be A Lifeguard, But I’m Worried People Will Make Fun On His Weird Birthmark

Glenn's teenage son was born with a weird birthmark. His wife has always believed that they should embrace natural differences. But his son plans on being a lifeguard this summer and Glenn is worried that he will be teased when he takes his shirt off at the pool. Should Glenn say something to his son? Or his wife?

Dear Jonathan & Ayla,

I have a teenage son who has a large birthmark on his back. It's not a big brown spot, but it is noticeably discolored. We've had it checked out by a doctor, and we've been assured that it's completely harmless and not a cause for medical concern.

This summer, my son is going to be working as a lifeguard at our local pool. While he's excited about the job, I can’t help but worry about how others might react to his birthmark. Kids and teenagers can be especially cruel when they see something different, and I fear he might be teased or made fun of because of it. The thought of my son being ridiculed breaks my heart, and I want to protect him from any potential bullying or negative comments.

I've suggested to my wife that we should consider getting the birthmark removed or treated in some way to avoid any issues. However, my wife has a different perspective. She believes that the birthmark is a natural part of his body and that we should teach our son to embrace it rather than change it. She feels strongly that altering it would send the wrong message, implying that he should be ashamed of something that is perfectly normal and unique to him.

I'm torn between wanting to protect my son from possible teasing and wanting to support his confidence in his own skin. I don't want him to feel self-conscious or different, but I also don't want to make a hasty decision that might not be necessary.

Is my son likely to be teased because of his birthmark, and should we take any action to address it? How can we best support him in this situation, ensuring he feels confident and accepted just as he is?

-Glenn

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