Caitlin’s son has been dating his girlfriend for seven years but they have no intention of ever getting married. His girlfriend’s mother died so she has nowhere to go for Thanksgiving dinner. But Caitlin is adamant that Thanksgiving dinner is for family only, so if they aren’t going to get married, then she is not family. And she is not welcome at Thanksgiving dinner.
Jonathan and Ayla’s Call With Caitlin
Jonathan: And today for panic we have. Caitlin. Hey, Caitlin.
Caitlin: Hi. How’s it going?
Jonathan: It’s going okay. So we’ve got Thanksgiving coming up. The goose is getting fat and all that. Well, what what’s the problem that you have involving a non family member.
Caitlin: My son has been dating this girl for about seven or so. And they’ve lived together for probably about that long as well. He’s bringing her to Thanksgiving dinner. And they’re not engaged. They’re not married. They’re just still boyfriend and girlfriend. And, you know, Thanksgiving is for the family and it’s just, she’s not family.
Jonathan: Wait, what does that mean? You’re not letting her come over?
Caitlin: Yeah, I don’t think I want her over. I mean, I don’t want him bringing another girl next year. Then we have to just get to know this other person. Even though it’s been seven years.
How Long Have They Been Dating?
Jonathan: Yeah, it’s been seven years.
Caitlin: But she’s not part of the family officially. I don’t want him to keep bringing new girls. Like, what if somehow….
Jonathan: I mean it could just be any woman after a free meal coming over to your house just to eat your turkey.
Ayla: And I’m assuming this has been a long term, I don’t want to say rule, but a rule in your house. Right. Because your son, I’m assuming this isn’t his first girlfriend. So no girlfriends that he’s ever dated have been allowed to spend a holiday at your house. Thanksgiving? Christmas?
Caitlin: Not, not really. It’s very official for family and for family only. And, you know, unfortunately, this year is a little tough because his girlfriend’s mother died. So it’s a little more intense.
Jonathan: So she can’t go to her own family?
Caitlin: No, she can’t go to her own family. Maybe this will be the kick in the butt he needs to propose.
Jonathan: I don’t know. So they’re not engaged or anything?
Caitlin: No, not engaged. They’ve been living together.
Ayla: Do they plan on getting engaged? Can you make an exception?
Are They Married?
Caitlin: No. They don’t believe in marriage. So, no.
Jonathan: Oh. So they’re not getting engaged. What do they think? It’s old fashioned?
Caitlin: They think it’s old fashioned. They are not getting engaged.
Jonathan: So you don’t like marriage? You don’t like Thanksgiving. Don’t expect a free meal. I’m on your side.
Ayla: I just feel like there’s a lot of things going on right now to unpack. Caitlin doesn’t want someone that’s not going to be committed to the family over. Even if these two are dating for seven years, they really aren’t committing to each other in the long term. The lack of commitment here in general is trickling down.
Jonathan: Caitlin’s problem is that she won’t have her son’s girlfriend over for Thanksgiving. What if they if they were engaged, would you then? Or they still have to be married?
Caitlin: No. You know, how long could the engagement go on? It could go on for another 7 or 8 years.
Jonathan: That’s true. That’s a good point. They could just be getting engaged for the Thanksgiving meal.
Caitlin: Just for show.
Jonathan: Just for food.
Ayla: For the holidays. Just sharing the food.
