Ryan’s wife has stopped dying her hair because she wants to look natural, so she is now going gray. Ryan doesn’t find her attractive anymore and told her so. Is Ryan a jerk? Or should he be honest with his wife that he is less attracted to her now that she is going gray?
Jonathan: And today for panic. We have a real treat. We have Ryan.
Ayla: Hey, Ryan.
Ryan: Hey, how’s it going?
Jonathan: It’s going well, Ryan. So what is your problem? Specifically with old women.
Ryan: Well, lately I’ve been having an issue with my wife. For the past couple of years, she’s been getting gray hairs. And for a while, she’s been going occasionally and getting them touched up, getting them colored in. But I noticed recently that she hasn’t been doing that.
Jonathan: I’m just waiting for the dramatic music to come in.
Ayla: So she previously has colored her hair, and recently you’ve noticed that underneath all that color, there’s gray coming out. How old is your wife? Not that it matters, because we all get gray.
Ryan: She’s like 40.
Jonathan: Okay. She’s like 40. So it’s not weird. It’s not like she’s going gray at 25 or 30.
Ayla: I’m 35. I’m starting to get gray. It’s just part of life.
Jonathan: Ryan wants you to know that he has a problem with that. Well, do you know what happened, Ryan?
Ryan: I’ve got to be honest with you. I have a real problem with it. And I kind of said as much the other day to her. I just really don’t find it attractive at all.
Jonathan: Well, okay. Hold on. Tell us about the conversation she had with you. So she’s not dyeing her hair anymore. You said. Hey, what’s going on? I’ve noticed you have some gray hair. She’s like, yeah, I’m not dyeing my hair anymore. So then later you came back to where you’re like, I’m not okay with that.
Ryan: Yeah, I did.
Jonathan: Ryan, what did you say?
Ryan: Well, I just told her I don’t I don’t find it attractive, and I think she needs to go back in and start doing that again. She said she’s just going to let it come in naturally. She was upset by the whole situation. I don’t understand how I’m in the wrong here. If she was getting fat, I would tell her that. If I didn’t tell her that, that’d be a problem, right?
Ayla: I don’t know anymore.
Jonathan: I’m just going to let that one side.
Ayla: Listen, Ryan. Here’s the thing. I already know you’ve thrown me under the bus a little bit because you don’t think it’s attractive. But I have, for the past two and a half, three years, told my husband that I’m going gray. Naturally. I’ve been kind of planting little seeds to say like, hey, babe, I’m no longer dyeing my hair, you know?
Ryan: OK
Ayla: And I am really starting to get gray. I think it’s the stress of being a mother. It happens, right? And I’m getting older, God forbid. But my husband knows that I’m going to go gray. Naturally. I kind of don’t care what he says. This is my opinion, but I do have to value if he doesn’t find me attractive anymore, which he has not said. But what if he is like Ryan and comes to me one day.
Jonathan: I don’t know about this whole scenario.
Ayla: I don’t know, but what do you. I find you more attractive when you are just brunet or blond.
Jonathan: Let me ask. Ryan, you don’t have any gray hair?
Ryan: Well, that’s besides the point.
Jonathan: Besides the point?
Ayla: Well, men look better.
Ryan: Yeah. It looks a little bit better.
Jonathan: Why? Because we’ve decided as a society that it’s okay for men to age. But for women, you’re past your childbearing years, so you’re useless.
Ayla: I know it’s so stupid.
Jonathan: Yeah, that’s so such a ridiculous.
Ayla: But he doesn’t find her attractive. So does he have the moral obligation to at least tell how tell me how he feels.
