Kaylin absolutely wants to have a baby and has been going through IVF for awhile now. Her husband wants her to stop because its gotten very expensive, but she has the money and wants to keep trying. Is it worth having the baby without him? If my husband isn’t all in on having a baby, do I need to just divorce him now?
Kaylin: Good morning. So my husband and I, we’ve been trying IVF. We’ve tried it a couple rounds now, and it has not been working, which has been really tough for both of us.
Ayla Brown: I’m sorry.
Kaylin: Thank you. I appreciate that. And I mean, I really want to be a mother. And I’ve known that for my whole life. And my husband is getting to the point now where we’ve done so many rounds that it’s getting you know, it adds up. It’s expensive.
Ayla Brown: I’ve heard it’s super expensive. I don’t know how much it costs, but I know it’s an expensive process.
Kaylin: Yeah. And it’s so it’s been adding up and my husband doesn’t want to spend any more money and he’s really questioning the financial possibility of going forward. And I make enough on my own. I actually make more than my husband does. If I have the funds to do it on my own, then I want to do it on my own. And at this point if he’s not in it financially, I can take care of that. But if he’s also not in it emotionally, I’m at a loss. I don’t know what to do because this is something I thought we really agreed on. I’m pretty sure that I have decided that I want to do it on my own.
Ayla Brown: And pay for it with your own money. Wouldn’t it be both of you guys? I mean, I’m assuming you’re married, so you have a joint account. So it’s not just your money. It’s both of in both of yours.
Kaylin: Well. Well, I also have my own separate account. I have savings. I’ve got the funds. That’s not. That’s not an issue to me. This would be so worth dipping into that.
Ayla Brown: And does he know you’re planning on doing this with your own money?
Kaylin: We haven’t talked about it yet. I haven’t had that exact conversation with him. I’ve told him that it would be worth it to me to spend money on this. But I haven’t given him any ultimatum at this point.
Ayla Brown: He does have, you know, a child from a previous marriage. So, I mean, in this case, it’s just like he already has the kid. You don’t have one now and you want one. If he’s not in it, will you divorce him?
Kaylin: Exactly. And that’s what’s so heartbreaking about this, is because I want both, but I might end up with neither or I’ll just go ahead and do it on my own. And it brings up a lot of questions of do I want to be a single mother? And then if this is my child? Is it our child? Do I raise this kid on my own? And does that mean the end of our relationship?