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2 Awful, Terrible, No Good Times To Drive On Memorial Day Weekend!

Author Lauren Beckham Falcone
(Photo by Mark Wilson/Getty Images)

Awful, Terrible, No Good Times To Drive On Memorial Day Weekend!

Nauset Beach, Cape Cod, MA

When not to drive on Memorial Day Weekend, according to the experts.

Ah, Memorial Day weekend—a time when the road gods decide to play a practical joke on us unsuspecting drivers.

42.3 million people will hit the roads this weekend. So buckle up, folks, as we embark on a snarky journey through the comical nightmare that is driving during this holiday extravaganza.

Traffic Tango

Imagine a dance floor where cars twirl and swirl, their blinkers flickering like disco lights. Yes, folks, Memorial Day weekend gives us the privilege of participating in the infamous Traffic Tango—an enchanting spectacle where everyone attempts to merge, but no one knows the steps.

The Great Race

traffic jam

Move over, NASCAR! Memorial Day weekend unveils the greatest race of all: the Race to the Beach. Witness drivers frantically competing for that prime spot in the sand, as if the ocean would vanish if they arrived a minute late. It’s a spectacle that would make even the most skilled Formula 1 drivers weep in confusion.

The Lost Art of Patience

worst state to drive in, Massachusetts traffic

(Photo by Darren McCollester/Newsmakers)

Remember that thing called patience? Well, it seems to go on vacation during Memorial Day weekend. Drivers transform into impatient beings with the attention span of a goldfish. Honking, finger-wagging, and passive-aggressive glares become the norm as we all forget how to wait without losing our minds.

The Art of Tailgating

Fourth Of July Weekend Creates Crushing Holiday Traffic

In this twisted game, tailgating is not reserved for football fans. Oh no! During Memorial Day weekend, it becomes a celebrated art form. If you’ve ever dreamt of having an intimate connection with the bumper in front of you, fear not—it shall be fulfilled! Just don’t forget to leave some room for suspense.

The Eternal Search for Parking

Survey Calls U.S. Traffic Signals Inefficient

(Photo by Scott Olson/Getty Images)

Behold the urban legend: finding a parking spot on Memorial Day weekend. It’s like spotting a unicorn riding a flying pig—impossible, yet strangely mesmerizing. Brace yourself for endless rounds of circling parking lots, praying for the parking gods to bestow their elusive blessings upon you.

Embrace the absurdity, savor the snark, and remember that in the midst of the traffic madness, there’s always room for a good chuckle. Safe travels, or should I say, hilarious misadventures!

Nantucket And Martha's Vineyard Struggle With Tourism Due To COVID-19

(Photo by Maddie Meyer/Getty Images)

When not to drive on Memorial Day Weekend, according to the experts:

Friday, May 26

AAA predicts will be the “busiest day on the roads” this holiday weekend, per a travel analysis published May 15.

That’s it. Stay off the roads.

Especially from 3 p.m. to 6 p.m.

Also? The other worst time is mid-day Monday. When everyone is heading home. Makes sense!

Have a great weekend!

Cape Cod Bridge

Lauren Beckham Falcone is the co-host of Bob & LBF in the Morning. Formerly an award-winning reporter and columnist for the Boston Herald, she credits her current success as a pop culture commentator to watching too much TV as a kid and scouring the internet too much as an adult. LBF is a regular contributor to NECN and is an honorary board member at the Massachusetts Down Syndrome Congress. Lauren lives in Canton with her husband Dave and her daughter Lucy. Lauren writes about trending topics, New England destinations, and seasonal DIY.

Boston is a Top 10 Worst City For Holiday Traffic

Boston making the Top 10 on a Worst City For Holiday Traffic list should surprise no one. Let’s be honest, it’s bad here year-round!

 

The team at Fractl published this study a few weeks ago: Is Your City the Worst For Driving in America? Here’s What You Should Know. Their blog post is chock-full of chunky data and cool-looking graphics. And there’s a lot about Boston to dive into. Let’s take a look at a few of the major takeaways takeaways, to start with.

 

Fractl “analyzed Boston traffic along seven variables including traffic congestion, stops, and fatalities. Then, they compared this data with the 50 most populous US cities.” Below are some highlights.

  • Boston ranks #6 WORST US city to drive in
  • Still, Boston’s traffic is better than Austin’sandMiami’s
  • Boston’s traffic is 16% worse than Atlanta’s and 53% worse than it is out in Worcester
  • Boston ranks in the bottom three for distracted driving fatalities and last mile speed

 

Boston is a Top 10 Worst City For Holiday Traffic

Once you crunch all the numbers, you see why Boston ends up in the Top 10 overall for “Worst Cities For Driving.” The criteria used to come to this dubious distinction? Congestion Level, Traffic Jams, Length of Traffic Jams, Hours Lost In Congestion, Last Mile Speed, and Distracted Driving Fatalities. In other words, all the nasty, awful stuff that makes traffic, well, traffic-y.

 

Add holiday travel patterns into the mix and you end up with a not-so-Merry Christmas for folks on the road in and around Boston. Again, you can take a look at the entire study here. I’ll take you through the Top 10 cities below so you can see exactly where Boston ranks and all the other cities you need to be mindful of this holiday season. Oh, and keep this list of Best Cities For Layovers handy, too.

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