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I’m The Worst Parent Ever For Taking My Eyes Off My Child For A Second

Author Ayla Brown

I have a 20-month-old at home, and two days ago, I thought I was going to lose him forever. All because I was distracted. My palms are sweating just thinking about it, and I feel like the worst parent in the world.

Here’s what happened. My husband took out a section of our fence because we’re having some work done in our backyard. What I didn’t realize is that he did not put the fence back completely. There was a really big open space between our driveway and our backyard.

I let my dog, Brate, out to go to the bathroom and didn’t even think to myself, “Oh, the gate is completely open.”

About five minutes later my intuition kicked in. My dog hadn’t come back to the door yet. I looked in the backyard and he wasn’t there. Brate had escaped out of the open fence. I panicked.

I opened up the front door to tell my husband that the dog was no longer in the backyard but instead, somewhere roaming around the neighborhood or even worse, on the main road. As I’m telling my husband this, I look back at our house and my heart stopped. My son climbing down the back stairs and running towards the open pool.

Bear standing in front of the backdoor where he escaped
Photo by Ayla Brown
This is my son, Barrett. And this is him standing in front of the backdoor or our porch. This is the door he escaped out of and almost ended up in the pool.

I literally saw his life and my life flash before my eyes. You fear the worst when it comes to water and your child. You fear that he could have drowned and he could have died. Even though I am 9-months pregnant and can barely walk, I sprinted through the house like a lion in the Safari, out the backdoor, and grabbed my son and hugged him with all of my might.

Man did I learn a valuable lesson here. I took my eyes off of my son for a second because I was distracted by something else. In this case it was my dog who distracted me. And luckily we found the dog. He was fine and dandy and just taking a pee in someone else’s yard. But more importantly, our son was safe and alive.

But I’m not going to lie, I felt like the worst parent on the planet for even taking my eyes off my son for a second. He is everything to me and if something were to ever happen to him I’d never be able to forgive myself.

I’ll end with this. Parenting is a sport and it’s not easy all the time. In fact, some days it’s the most tiring thing your body and mind will ever go through! But on the flipside, being a parent is the most rewarding, incredible feeling in the world. It’s made me a more patient person, a better wife, and a more empathetic human. I am so grateful to be a mother.

Ayla Brown has been an on-air morning show host with Country 102.5 since 2018. Before taking this once-in-a-lifetime job, Ayla was (and still is) a country music singer. In 2006, she placed 13th on American Idol. In 2012 and 2013 she celebrated her Grand Ole Opry and Ryman Auditorium debut, and over the years she has visited 13 countries overseas to sing for the American Troops. Country music is in Ayla Brown’s soul. Not only does she sing it, but she gets to talk about it every day on “Country Mornings with Jonathan and Ayla.” Ayla is happily married to singer-songwriter, Rob Bellamy, and they welcomed a son named Barrett in August of 2022. In her free time, she loves to sew baby bibs and experiment with new recipes in the kitchen. She also loves to travel and try new foods. Ayla writes about Boston area happenings, parenting, holistic lifestyle and living, and travel.

Here's 9 Things I've Learned As A Parent In My Baby's 1st Year

Being a new parent is filled with unexpected twists, immense joy, and lots of lessons. As our son, Barrett, turns one today, I find myself reflecting on the past year. So much has happened! I promise I will try not to cry, but I have a box of tissues near me (just in case).

Barrett has had some incredible milestones in his first year. His tried his first solid food at 6-months old. I’ll never forget it. We were in Mexico and we gave him a mango. He was so happy and proud that he was holding a big piece of fruit in his hands.

Another big moment happened in the beginning of April when he crawled for the first time. My mom and I happened to get it on camera, which you can see below. While he’s not walking quite yet, he crawls really fast around the house. He now picks himself up off the ground and balances his body on the couch. Any day now he will be running around the house!

HUGE milestone for our baby. He CRAWLED!Obviously when you watch the video, the moment was very exciting for my mom and me. thankfully my phone was right next to me and I was able to catch this big moment. His face was fine by the way 😂

Posted by Ayla Brown on Monday, April 3, 2023

The experience has been humbling, enlightening, and all kinds of wonderful. My husband and I love our son so much and we’ve experienced so much with him in the first year of his life. We can’t wait for the next few years so we can experience other big milestones.

Pretty soon he’ll be walking, and then running, and then asking us to borrow the car!! HAHA. We are still many years from him driving a car, but it’s true that time flies by way too fast.

As we celebrate Barrett’s first birthday, we are not just marking the end of his first year but also the beginning of more adventures, lessons, and cherished memories. To all parents out there, whether you’re just starting out or are seasoned pros, cherish the journey. It’s immeasurably precious.

Things I’ve Learned Being A Parent In The 1st Year

  • Encourage Self-Play/Exploration

    We encourage our baby to play with toys that will help him with his motor skills. We really enjoy the Lovevery Boxes. You can choose boxes that come with safe, sustainable toys that encourage learning. While many people have bought him toys, we try and limit the amount that we have in the house. Usually his toys include musical instruments and the items from the Lovevery Boxes.

  • Let Your Baby See What You Do For A Living

    Your baby will learn from your actions. I always try and have him around when I am working so he knows and understands what I do for a living. While I’ve only brought him into the studio one time for about 20 minutes, some day when he gets older he’ll say, “My mom talks on the radio!” Always bring your baby into your life so he or she sees what you do! It’s also fun to show them off to your co-workers.

  • Take Him to As Many Places as Possible

    Whether it’s a stroll in the park, a visit to the grandparents, or even just a short grocery trip, every new environment is a sensory feast for your baby. These little expeditions contribute significantly to his cognitive and sensory development. We bring our baby EVERYWHERE. This picture was when we took him to Mexico. It was his first time on a plane and he did great!

  • Introduce Him to People Early in Life

    Human connections are the backbone of our lives. By introducing Barrett to various friends and family members, we’re helping him develop essential social skills and understand the world is full of diverse individuals. We allow many people to hold him and spend time with him. We don’t want him having attachment issues when he enters “toddler-hood” so we’re hoping this will help.

  • Trust Your Instincts

    Parenting books, advice from loved ones, and information online can sometimes be overwhelming. While they provide valuable insights, nothing beats a parent’s intuition. Trusting our gut feeling has often led us in the right direction.

  • Document Your Baby's Little (And Big) Moments

    It’s true what they say, time flies when you’re having fun. And this year with Barrett has flown by! Regularly taking photos, jotting down memories, or even making short videos has been a priceless way to cherish the fleeting moments.

    Ayla Brown and Barrett

    This was when I took Barrett to the TD Garden for his first Celtics game. I sang the National Anthem before the game.

  • But Put Down The Phones When Interacting With Baby

    Put the phone away if you are not taking pictures or videos of your baby. It’s important for them to know that they are the main priority. Babies can tell when you’re distracted on other things.

    Barrett

    Barrett LOVES to smile. And we love seeing his two bottom teeth poke through

  • Introduce Solid Foods As Early As You Can

    We introduced our son to solid foods at 6-months and we are so glad we did! He loves all types of food. At a year old he still has never had starches and sugar. The only carbs he’s had have been plant-based, and the only sugar has been from real fruits. We want to limit things like pastas and cakes as long as he can. By doing this, he eats all sorts of yummy real foods.

    I’m His Mother, Which Is Why My Son Is Eating Fried Chicken Already

  • Pray Every Night Together

    As Christians, it’s important to my husband and I to raise our son in a religious household. We pray with Barrett every night before putting him to bed. We thank God for the gift of being his parents and having him as a son.

  • Love You Barrett! Here Are Some Favorite Moments

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