Why I’m Spending the Night in My Daughter’s Dorm on Her First Day of College
The emotional rollercoaster of sending your child off to college is a rite of passage that many parents face, but how do you strike the right balance between supporting them and giving them the space they need to spread their wings? In a recent episode of our Panic Button segment, we spoke with Ariana, a mom who’s facing this very dilemma. She’s planning a special “girls’ night” with her daughter in her dorm on her first night at college—a plan that’s raising some eyebrows, especially from her husband.
Jonathan:
Country 102.5, Jonathan and Ayla doing Panic Button today. For Panic Button, we have Ariana. Hey, Ariana.
Ariana:
Hey, how are you?
Jonathan:
Good. So you have a bit of a situation that I think a lot of parents go through—taking your daughter to college, but you’re not just dropping her off. What’s going on?
Ariana:
So I’m going to drive her up, and her roommate hasn’t arrived yet, so I’m actually going to spend the night with her. We’re going to have a girls’ night, meet the other girls on her floor, check it out, and hang out.
Jonathan:
So you’re going to hang out with your daughter in her dorm on her first night of college?
Ayla:
Wait, you mean hang out or sleep over?
Ariana:
We’ll sleep over and hang out with the girls—girls’ night!
Ayla:
Girls’ night! Like a combo. Wow. OK. Is she going to school far away? Are hotels not available, or is this just for the fun experience?
Jonathan:
Right. Why not stay at a hotel?
Ariana:
We’re doing it for the fun experience. I’m leaving her after that, and I won’t see her for a while. She’ll start classes, and I thought it would be a great bonding opportunity.
Jonathan:
So what’s the problem? Does she not want you to do it?
Ariana:
No, it’s my husband. He thinks I’m being weird and that I’m making the transition more difficult for her.
Ayla:
This is interesting. I can totally see my sister, who’s also named Ariana, wanting my mom to stay with her in the dorm. But me? I’ve always been more independent, so when I’m ready to fly from the nest, I wouldn’t want this.
Jonathan:
I get that. It’s a tough situation. I have a couple of friends whose kids have gone to college, and they say it’s really hard. Is this your first kid going to college?
Ayla:
I can’t even imagine how tough it must be, Arianna.
Jonathan:
Yeah, a lot of parents say it’s tough, but I don’t know if you’re making it easier by spending the night. It might be prolonging the transition.
Ariana:
Yes, yes, it is tough.
Ayla:
Wait, are you sharing the same bed, or is there a blow-up mattress?
Jonathan:
Well, she said her roommate isn’t there yet.
Ayla:
Oh, OK. Sorry, I must have missed that. If you were sleeping in the same twin-size bed as your daughter, I think that would be very strange.
Jonathan:
Yeah, that would be weird, but she’s not doing that.
Ayla:
I just wanted to clarify.
Jonathan:
I’d love to hear from other parents. If you could call in at 888-819-1025, how hard is it to drop your kid off at college? I’m not going to go through that for a couple more years—assuming Henry ever leaves—but I remember dropping Katie off when we were dating. She went to a college that was literally 25 minutes further away than her house was from me, and I was bawling. I got into the car, and “Landslide” by Fleetwood Mac came on, and I started crying. The line, “I’m afraid of changing ’cause I built my life around you” hit me hard. I was bawling, and I knew I was going to see her again.
Ayla:
Distraught, yeah. And then Fleetwood Mac came on. Oh, God.
Jonathan:
Yeah, it was intense.
Ayla:
Can you imagine how Ariana feels with her firstborn leaving the nest? Oh, my God, I can’t wait to hear what other parents think.
